Someone can miss you because they get to avoid dealing with someone or something much closer to home. Someone can miss you but have enough awareness about their own capabilities to know that nothing would actually change if you were to get back together. They like their life, and even if you don’t ‘get’ it or think it’s wrong, their situation works for them. They may think you’re great, claim to be crazy about you, or miss the things that ensured they got their needs met, but they don’t miss you that much. Someone can miss you but not actually want to get back together. The reality is somewhat altogether different: The obstacle isn’t whatever excuse they’ve given. A re we getting back together? Why aren’t we getting back together? You will reason that it’s an obstacle out of your and their control that’s preventing you from being together.

If you’re experiencing this, it’s likely that you will become very heavily invested in the idea that your ex wants/misses you. In some instances, these exes claim to miss him/her but aren’t making any moves or suggestions towards getting back together. However, these exes haven’t left their current partner or are unwilling to address the issues that broke the relationship.

I regularly hear from people who are in the rather uncomfortable and ambiguous position of having an ex that they still love (or think they do), claim that they miss them and/or that they wish they could be together. Tags: emotional availability, emotional unavailability, getting back together, new years resolutions, The Bullshit Diet, The No Contact Rule

Still in love with ex after years